found

realized my passport was not where i thought it was on monday. looking through old sketch books to see if i had stored it in them, i found versions of some old poems/ pre-versions that i dont really remember writing...


una noche, mujer, yo te so~e.
con piernas tempestuosas salias del rio
y con ojos estrellados
mirabas hacia horizontes desconocidos.

tus pies decian todo.

y te fuiste a extraviar
en valles q solo habias navegado una vez,
cuando no existia mas que tu ombligo

Fruits and Sugar Levels

Fruits Low in Sugar:

Small Amounts of Lemon or Lime
Rhubarb
Raspberries
Blackberries
Cranberries

Fruits Low to Medium in Sugar:

Strawberries
Casaba Melon
Papaya
Watermelon
Peaches
Nectarines
Blueberries
Cantaloupes
Honeydew Melons
Apples
Guavas - Pineapple Guavas (Feijoa) and Strawberry Guavas
Apricots
Grapefruit

Fruits Fairly High in Sugar:

Plums
Oranges
Kiwifruit
Pears
Pineapple

Fruits Very High in Sugar:

Tangerines
Cherries
Grapes
Pomegranates
Mangoes
Figs
Bananas
Dried Fruit, such as
Dates
Raisins
Dried Apricots
Prunes"

queria excribir algo raro- FREEWRITE

No más monstruos!
No más-cara!
No más guerras!
Mujeres, hemos gritado
Mujer, ya no me importas más!
Las, Los, Las, Los, Las, Laaaaaaaaaaaaas
Cuando viene la paz?
Cuando dejare las causas?
Dame, Dame, Dame el Gran Espiritu
Miráme cuando estoy talking to you!
Ves? Como andan los jovenes?
Jovencillos, no se deprimen más!
Parade tha monstrosity
Hacélo bello!
Twenty six eyes and noses like gonzo
The files will attest
The books will attest
I’ve documented you from the beginning
on stone, lined paper, cotton, carbon-
We’ve soothsayed you with our music
Puro muzack roots reggue en nahuatl y espanol
Fuck tha whores, dijo Jose Montoya
And you listened
While we danced to cumbia
In smoke filled living rooms
But WE were the pure ones, twisting our insides into anthropomorphic esculturas
to maintain their ignorant facades, mientras
Blooming our tripa- alejibre animalitos
And leaving that adolescent shit behind-
For tha bella, rara, vidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nuestra




(pos, no salio tan raro. asi es cuando te entrenan profesores socialistas :(

1/8/2009

Construir cuidadosamente un altar a Dios es loable
Tu alma y energia simbolizados en lo material
Pero dejar que otros contribuyen al estetico de ello
Es mas dificil

Luchar por la humanidad en servicio al TodoPoderoso es loable
Esfuerzos buengastados en animar y unir a la gente
Pero dejar que otros contribuyen en su manera y con ideas distintas
Es mas dificil

Facil es, tener un sueno,
Pero mas dificil
aceptar tu destino

the age of fulfillment

i discovered in the slowly developing rebirth of the past few weeks that it is time now to "be nice to everyone". its scary to be nice to everyone. i used to open myself to people who i came across that also seemed open. in the past two years i learned that i didn't want to open myself to everyone who came knocking at my door and that to do so was 1.not necessary 2. wouldn't make me a "bad" person.

in the past two years i have learned the beauty of the sacred and the sacredness of choosing between good and bad. if it was one thing i learned in anthropology from my professor Marisol dela Cadena, it was that "good" and "bad" are not analytical terms. they dont say anything. they are too polarizing and too assumptive. growing up as a Baha'i, i was always taught to look for the good in everything and always be kind. yet in the past 2 years i have learned that there is good and there is better (if not good and bad), and there are people who will suck the energy out of you and it is in no way helpful to allow them to continue to suck your energy or abuse you. i began in a small personal way to implement justice to myself. and although i always believe that compassion and mercy are for individuals and justice is only for institutions (not the individuals right to judge anyone) at some point it comes down to not judging someone else but just taking care of ones own spiritual well-being and knowing our limits and not being colonized by anyone else. i learned in the past two years that it is not necessary to answer every question asked of me, befriend every person who stretches out their hand, or return every missed call.

having learned this, i've cycled and am now searching once again for OPENNESS (while still holding my own!)

i got an opportunity to test out this new way of being tonight - i came into my room and there was a beautiful vase of roses placed on top of my drawers by my grandmother. the room smelled like a garden and the roses were fresh and yellow. but whereas my grandmother sees only a drawer with messiness on top, a place to put some flowers, i have my altar and each object is placed in a specifically chosen spot. here is the small bowl malaquias' wife lezlie made and gave to me....there is the poem that i got from k. wayne trang after 6 months and a chance meeting....theres my pandeiro from Akka, Israel... i just recently placed my new oak burle and deers rib from the mountains...

when i saw those beautiful flowers, my first reaction was a mute horror, i immediately removed the vase from my altar and put it on the ground. this was my sacredness and someone had just plopped some other energy right into the middle of it! seconds later i realized this was my first challenge in a new space. my grandmother had thought of me, given me a gift, something beautiful, and i was refusing to let it in to my life. those 2-3 seconds after putting the roses on the ground were a crucial moment and i realized i must build a new pathway, pattern of reaction. i picked it back up as if going against my own will, but placed it back where it had been with conviction. a little more angled to where my chi felt good with it there, but in an acceptance of the beauty of a gift given with love even if it was unknowingly "interfering" with my sacredness. im looking at it now and it doesn't seem to interfere, rather it has given more life to my altar.

hemas/gemas

con lagrimas hachas y gritos de trueno

hemos horadado la soledad inmovil

y descendido a encontrarnos abajo

en pura tiniebla gris

Capas del Cielo / Capas de Ti

Como te vas a marcar el paso del tiempo, compa?
por el calendario?-Existen varios
por la fecha de nacimiento?-Todo es chance, y el reloj se equivoca
Aun las estaciones nos enganen, con inviernos calurosos y veranos friolentos en Antarctica…

Entonc te pregunto-
Como nos vamos a marcar el paso del tiempo?
Al cortar el arbol, se revelan sus anillos,
su piel, cada dia el viento y el fuego se lo batio,
hasta que irradio una capa nueva, y el parte se junto con el entero.
y cuando la fruta se brote de la semilla, sabemos entonces que el tiempo ha pasado
que el crecimiento se dio vida, que el alimento no sea lejo’

En tu dia, mi compa, que has cosechado tu?

lagrimas, amistades
un poema, un amor
- sera que aprendiste convivir con el dolor?
Sera tu corazon mas fuerte?
Lo has amasado suficiente para sea mas dulce y resiliente?

Hoy, que marques el tiempo por latidos ansiosos por la verdad
que la mano de tu reloj se anima por la persistencia , y no por la maldad.

Hoy, que cumples un ciclo de aprendizaje, y abres un nuevo
no porque te dice el calendario, pero porque busques otra vez al renacimiento!