tha Modern Life

This is what I will be doing, come Monday December 8, 2008, for 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week.

This is like telling a man in prison, that if he turns his bed on it's side, he can use it to do pull ups, so don't worry about not being able to go for a run. Though come to think of it, even prisons have gyms.

On Monday I will become an industrialized worker, who performs only 1 task in a system of tasks, rather than being a holistic contributor to all aspects of the goals of my Agency.

I watched a movie last night whose main character was from Greenland, she had grown up in the vast expanses of snow and landscape--her idea of Hell was to be enclosed. I thought about quitting the job I have not yet started. I decided to hold out and see how it actually feels.

Last night I also met someone who has a similar 40-hours-a-week-in-front-of-the-computer job. She said that the first week, her eyes were constantly bloodshot, and every hour her body felt so restless. Now, her eyes have adjusted, and she will sit for 6 hours without even noticing that her rear has gone numb. She's gained 10 pounds. I thought about quitting the job I have not yet started. I decided to hold out and see how it actually feels. Though, I cOuld just brainwash my body through constant torture until it believes this sedentariness is natural, just so I can continue to earn $16 an hour.

Last week, I started to train Capoeira again--the second class, we were in a yoga studio and had to train without shoes, by the end of the hour both my feet had formed huge blood blisters on the bottom from the constant sweeping and pounding. I called my mom, who suggested I wear some special sock-that-isnt-a-sock-----------------------------------but I refuse. If I protect my foot, then it will never go through the toughening process. Ok Mel, but it's going to be painful.
But this pain will lead to strength, if I am ever in a street fight in Rio I'll be able to kick their ass with my capoeira moves without running home to look for my shoes :)



I think about quitting my job. I decide to go ahead with both 40 hours a week of sitting, and 3-5 hours a week of movement........................my life on Monday will become polarized........there ain't shit I can do about it............................is this coming to face with reality???........being ungrateful for a chance to make money in this economy???......................giving up on tha dream (I WON'T GIVE UP! i will print on the weekends.)............?????...............no se. I feel as discombobulated about it all as I do about modernity. I think about people who have to do hard labor over and over, every day, and shit, they aren't making $16 an hour, nor are they going to get an HMO. I get selfish again and think pessimistically that it's going to be like taking an 8 hour flight every day, but at 6 pm i'll still be in rural southern California. Ya, no more, discombobulated. The only thing I know is that come Monday, at 9 a.m, I'll be there.